A while ago, I found this thing on the internet about all the things a toddler hates. It’s full of super cute stuff and it’s delightful.
But I had a hard time relating because the things my three-year-old hates has nothing to do with cute. In fact, his list is dead serious and sometimes quite ugly. And it’s only growing by the day.
Here’s my list of the things my little miracle hates and what he’s said about them:
1. Global Warming
“No one likes being hot.”
2. Salt and Pepper
“What’s the point?”
3. The Green Sippy Cup
“That thing is cursed.”
“I hate those motherf*&@*#$*#@$#”
5. Congressional Hearings
“Hey Congress, I’ve got a better idea: Get back to work. Christ.”
“I’m like a gremlin, don’t get me wet motherf$*#&$&^#^&$.”
“Come on. It’s like, get happy stupid.”
8. West Coast Rap
“I’m straight East Coast, motherf$&#&$*#&$”
“I don’t give a sh*$&# what it does for Popeye. Get that green apocalypse away from me.”
“I ain’t going back there. Ever.”
Kid’s got a real mouth on him, doesn’t he? Man.
But what about you? What does your toddler hate? What does he like? Do you even HAVE a toddler?