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10 Ways To Tell You’re A Kid Of The 1920′s – FeedBuzz Blog Post Content

1. You still remember watching the first feature-length motion picture with synchronized dialogue sequences in 1927 and your house is a box in the dirt now. 

File:The Jazz Singer 1927 Poster.jpg

 

source: the 1920s

2. You know who this is, or would, were your brain still firing electric pulses and not  eaten away by maggots many years ago, and you probably agreed when he said aviation “is a tool specially shaped for Western hands, a scientific art which others only copy in a mediocre fashion; another barrier between the teeming millions of Asia and the Grecian inheritance of Europe — one of those priceless possessions which permit the White race to live at all in a pressing sea of Yellow, Black, and Brown.”

 

File:Col Charles Lindbergh.jpg

source: the 1920s

3. You remember when #WeirdTwitter was called by its original name, Surrealism. Also What’s Twitter? you might’ve said, had you lived long enough to even see the invention of the internet, never mind the rise of social media, which you likely did not.  

File:MagrittePipe.jpg

source: the 1920s

4. You long for the days before self-destructing, substance-abusing celebrities who are famous for doing nothing much at all dominated the national conversation.  You also long for consciousness and a corporeal form. 

 

File:Zelda Fitzgerald portrait.jpg

source: the 1920s

 

5. You read the words “He who was living is now dead/ We who were living are now dying/ With a little patience” and were saddened by them, and now it’s you who is dead, which is ironic in a way. Also you never read those words since you worked in a shoe factory for 30 cents a week if you were lucky, because despite numerous attempts in the preceding and following decade which were blocked in Congress, it wasn’t until 1938 that FDR pushed through the Fair Labor Standards Act which regulated child labor. Also poetry wasn’t available to you. 

 

File:The Wasteland.djvu

source: the 1920s

 

6. You still know all the words to his guy’s films by heart. Even in the hellish void where you live now. 

 

 

File:Chaplin Kid Auto Races.jpg

 

source: the 1920s

7. Had you known what Bahaus was, which, again, you didn’t, not being some kind of fancy intellectual and literally starving most days, you would have known it as a German school of architecture, and not as an early 80s goth post-punk band featuring David J, later of Love & Rockets, which you would further only know about if you were a kid of the 80s? (70s maybe?) Not sure how old the strawmen in these things are supposed to be now that I think of it. Like, what’s the cut off for being a kid of the 90s, say? Wouldn’t being a kid of the 90s mean you were born in the 90s, and therefor probably not really paying attention all that much to pop culture until at least, like, 1995 or so. Or does it mean you were born in the 80s? Starting to think these things don’t really make much sense when you really take a look at them. A good, long, hard look. 

File:Monument to the March dead.jpg

 

source: the 1920s

 

8. WE FUCKING HATED WOMEN SO MUCH BACK THEN REMEMBER THAT? NOT LIKE NOW LOL

 sexist_old_ad

 

source: the 1920s

 

 

9. Who can forget when Benito Mussolini of the National Fascist Party became Prime Minister of Italy, shortly thereafter creating the world’s first fascist government. The Fascist regime establishes a totalitarian state led by Mussolini as a dictator. The Fascist regime restores good relations between the Roman Catholic Church and Italy with the Lateran Treaty, which creates Vatican City. The Fascist regime pursues an aggressive expansionist agenda in Europe such as by raiding the Greek island of Corfu in 1923, pressuring Albania to submit to becoming a de facto Italian protectorate in the mid-1920s, and holding territorial aims on the region of Dalmatia in Yugoslavia. In other words, just like Obama. 

File:Mussolini biografia.jpg

source: reddit.com

10. The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution begins the era of prohibition that would last until throughout the decade which you probably didn’t care about vis a vis being a child at the time, but hey that was weird though right? You know what would be pretty good right about now? A drink, tell you what. Long, tall, cold one, just sitting back on the porch, without a care in the world, a light breeze in your scalp, and chunks of decades-since rotted-off flesh clumping on the floor around you as your grandchildren recoil in horror from the monstrosity that’s wrenched itself forth from the soil to haunt their dreams forever. 

 

File:Prohibition agents destroying barrels of alcohol (United States, prohibition era).jpg

 

source: the 1920s

 

@lukeoneil47


I write lots of things for internet and paper, some of them are less dumb than others. https://twitter.com/lukeoneil47