1. People Don’t Like Mayo
Lets face it: the people have spoken re: mayonnaise and the verdict is “not good”. Take a look at this dumb article, for instance. Mayo is yucko, so say we all.
2. Miracle Whip is different from mayo
Miracle Whip ain’t mayo, kid. If you thought it was, you’re ignorant as hell. News flash! Miracle Whip isn’t supposed to taste like mayo at all. It tastes the horrible way it does on purpose. Have you tasted it in a while? Do yourself (and us) a favor and buy a tub of it today and take a stroll down bad-taste-memory lane. If you shop through the MiracleWhip.com online store be sure to use coupon code “FEEDBUZZ” for $0.16 off your order total and we get a referral bonus check.
3. Just buy Miracle Whip
Do you know how important it is to maintain a positive brand image these days? People think Miracle Whip tastes like nuclear snot. Not good. We figure if the High Fructose Corn Syrup council can advertise their way out of the hot seat so can we. We’re begging you, millenials and the parents you still live with who pay for your groceries: buy a big-size jar of Miracle Whip. Even if you still hate the nightmare taste at least we’ve made a few more bucks off you.
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