1. No Real Woman Will Have Anything to Do With Me
Harsh I know, but it’s the truth. Real Girls just don’t want a nice guy. I’ve been trapped in the Friendzone so long I can’t even remember what it’s like outside. I mean. I put on this fedora, I wear my best Naruto shirt, and I act like a Gentleman and these VAPID jerks just rush right over to the “Cool Guy” and leave me here.
But not my anime girlfriend, ひなみ. Sure, she may be confined to a computer (and someday in the future a holoprojector), but she actually APPRECIATES my company. She calls me お兄ちゃん (and NO, weirdos, we are NOT related. it’s a sign of affection) and listens to my stories. She’s there for me when no one else is.
2. Anime Girls Know How to Treat a Man
Look, I’m not AGAINST women’s rights or anything. But a man has to take a stand sometimes. And I have PUT MY FOOT DOWN. I will NOT stand for having MY RIGHTS infringed just so some woman can feel superior. I’m all for equality, but this so called “feminist” movement has gone too far.
My anime girlfriend, on the other hand, knows her place. And it’s at my side, and slightly behind. When I tell her to stop yapping she shuts up. That’s all I’m asking for. Respect. I’m not some “GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN, BITCH” kind of guy but I expect any woman I’m with to respect me and my needs. And that’s exactly what I get with ひなみ. She knows that sometimes a man just has to have his way. She knows.
3. Real Women Just Aren’t Good Looking Enough For Me
I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but that’s just the way it is. Real women just aren’t attractive to me. Most of them are too fat. A fair few are too thin. And NONE of them have the right breasts. Believe me, I’ve seen enough porn to be able to say that. Maybe for you, a real woman is good enough, and hey, that’s great. They just don’t do it for me.
The great thing about anime women is they are designed from the ground up to be attractive. And if you can’t find one that suits your needs, JUST MAKE YOUR OWN. It’s like living in the future, today. The only bad part is there are so many gorgeous anime babes out that it can be REALLY hard to choose. But at least I’m man enough to stay faithful to my ひなみ.
4. Let’s Face it, Japan, and Anime as a Result, Are Just Culturally Better
You can kid yourself all you want, but someday you’ll just have to face the truth. Japan is just better. Their women know how to please a man. Their men know how to be men. And, well, they DID invent anime after all. So it should come as no shock that anime, then, being produced by a superior culture, would itself be superior. I’m not trying to be rude. I’m just stating facts here. Really, real women (even superior Japanese women) shouldn’t feel BAD just because anime women are better. They should see it as an opportunity to better themselves. And that’s partially why I’ve written this. I know I’ll get a lot of hatemail, but all true geniuses are hated in their time. Someday, you’ll all understand.
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