Archive for clastowka

Top 6 Things That Snoopy Pretends To Be

Snoopy is one of the most well known comic strip characters of all time. But anyone who’s spent some time with this beloved beagle knows he’s not just a top dog. He pretends to be all sorts of things! Here’s a list of the Top 6 Things That Snoopy Pretends To Be:

6. A World War I Flying Ace
Some of Snoopy’s greatest adventures came when he donned the iconic pilot’s goggles and scarf. His doghouse became his trusty Sopwith Camel, and his target was the elusive Red Baron. But what we always wondered was: who was patching up those holes in his doghouse?

5. Lucy
Snoopy is at his most mischievous when he’s putting mean ol’ Lucy in her place. And in A Charlie Brown Christmas, the bossy director finally gets what’s coming to her! Snoopy’s a great sheep, cow, and penguin in the pageant, but imitating Lucy had to be his most satisfying role yet.

4. Happy
Three dozen rejection letters ago, Snoopy stopped describing himself as a novelist and started saying he was “in between jobs, doing a little writing on the side.” His repetition of the phrase “It was a dark and stormy night” is so clearly a cry for help that he resents his owner, his neighbors, and most of all his best friend Woodstock for failing to recognize it. Lying on top of his doghouse, he sees the Met Life blimp Snoopy One fly over head, and shakes his fist at the sky as his own hollow smile gazes down at him. He tells himself he’ll never do a gig just for the money again, but he knows it’s not true. And even if it were, when was the last time his agent called with work? Nobody wants him. Not after the horrible things he’d called the caterers at the Hallmark shoot. Snoopy looked down at his paw. Another patch of fur had come off in his hand from scratching. It was the only thing he’d felt in days.

3. Not turned on by people crying

In his doghouse, next to the Van Gogh and the pool table, Snoopy keeps his most treasured possession: a pile of handkerchiefs soiled by the tears of the neighborhood children. One by one he lifts them to his mouth and inhales deeply. Ah yes…The distinct saltiness of one of Linus’ post-baseball defeat tantrums. He casts it aside and picks up a new one. Mmm, the aroma of sorrow was thick in the air when Lucy found out her dad had been transferred and the Van Pelts would have to move. The hankie is still wet. He’s overcome with the desire to throw himself into the pile and roll around until he achieves satisfaction, but tonight he has a higher goal. For business is not going well at Charlie Brown’s dad’s barber shop, and once again Snoopy crawls to the window to silently watch him sob into a bowl of cold cereal while flipping through his high school yearbook, beating himself up over all the ways he’s failed his family.

2. A being who possesses the capability of empathy
Snoopy woke up in the middle of the night. He tried to remember what noise has awakened him, but knew all too well it was his own screams. The dream again. Overseeing the masses filing into the camps from a guard tower, his grim lieutenants flanking him with assault rifles. He knew he had lost their loyalty long ago, but the terror they felt in his presence, the fear of his retribution should they speak out of line, was far more powerful than whatever was left of their own twisted conscience. The endless line of doomed men, women, dogs and unidentifiable species of birds trudged past, and the head beagle looked down at them and smiled.

1. A vulture
Watch out Linus! That vulture’s after your blanket. He’ll probably end up tipping over and bonking his head on a rock, but you can’t be too careful around scavengers!

Top six signs you had the Best Childhood Ever in Kindersley, Saskatchewan

96944-004-718EC7DE1. Your dad worked in the gas and/or oil industry!
Western Saskatchewan is a resource rich area, so he probably worked in one of these two industries. Or perhaps agriculture. Remember giving dad a hug when he got home from work every night after a long day of working in the gas or oil industry? We do!

2. You went to Elizabeth School for K-7!
Was there a better place to learn your multiplication tables? I don’t think so! Except maybe Westberry, that’s the other school in town so maybe you learned them there, they’re both pretty good.

6663933973262F1F3DDF4FE16B5313. You cruised Highway 7!
It’s the main highway through town, so if you went anywhere, it was pretty much a requirement that you travelled on it. If you never cruised on Highway 7, it means you never left town even once and probably did not have a very good childhood. It’s possible that you did, but not probable. Kids like going places.

4. Coffee at Tim Horton’s!
It’s a gigantic chain so it’s not really that unique but they don’t have them in America so it seems like a bigger deal. Did you drink coffee as a child? Most people probably started in high school, or maybe college. But we’re counting that nowadays, right? Childhood extends to like 25?

5. Klippers games!
Did it get any better than minor league hockey? We never figured out who burned their arena to the ground, do you know who did it? If so, drop us some knowledge in the comments, the police are not monitoring them for information about this still unsolved arson.

Jason_and_Jeremy6. The Goose Festival!
Need we say more? Four days of fun! So many great memories, right? Wikipedia doesn’t mention what this festival entails, is this picture about right?