Today the 11 of november 2001 the internet was very sad to hear that the big WEB SIGHT BUZZFEED DOT COM went offline and no one knows why this has happened. BUZZFEED DOT COM the big web sight on the Inter Net was Verry Famous indeed and has sparked a lot of furor and outcrying about this tragic event that happened today on 9 november. At BUZZ FEED, a less popular web page and internet destination, we took it on ourselfs to write and talk and email and whatever to people in the real world meat space to get Big Ideas on What People Were Doing with their time. Some of the answers are interesting and You Should Read This. we paint the REAL HUMAN CANVAS only here, feed.bz
“I can’t believe this is happening to me” writes Scott Fitzroy, a 34 year old part-time script writer from Brooklyn, NY. “Where did Buzzfeed go. Where did it go? That’s a question a lot of people are asking, but there isn’t an answer”. Scott was deeply upset over the loss of websight buzzfeed dot com so instead he went to another websight in order to spend his valuable time, but it wasn’t the same.
“Well I can’t get on to buzzfeed dot com. I cant share some Good Articles with my facebook Freinds!” declared 19 year old Law Student Rachel Winchester from her computer machine laptop terminal via email system service. “I can’t believe this. I am studying for my Big Exam but I cannot read the websight Buzz Feed dot com. I want to be able to read the &&$#$#* website now thanks!” she finished her email rather rudely. Many people are feeling the bad effect of the loss of thi great website but no one knows how long it will be for. It’s a big mystery we havent solved here at Feed Buzz.
“Ah, this is such a big disaster” deplored 54 year old county sherrif Jarrod Stringer, who, despite being an old, uses a web to make a good joke from time to time. it certainly helps when he is not doing a big police drive and then also arresting a bad criminal who might do a robbery, drug, rape or murder. “God Damn It” he said to our staffer who was around at the time. “I can’t believe this. I am already Getting many Suicide Calls about this big loss. Everyones dying” he continued with a single tear down his cheek. “Fuck. Big Fuck”.
David Oakenfield, an 8 year old living in San Francisco, couldn’t finish his cereal today because of the loss of Giant Webby Buzz Feed.com. He was very upset when he found out he couldn’t go on to share Cool Blogs and Storys with his mates on the cyberweb, and so was very sad and couldn’t go to school and di a big Sooky Child cry in his Lightning McQueen loft bed. “It’s a fucking mess” said Susanne Arlesque, David’s sole parent and roller derby expert from Sydney, Australia, who moved here to take care of her son in the Big City where Dreams Come True. “I have a Big Derby tomorrow but my son is Sad. I bet those Big Fat Cats what run BuzzFeed dot com are happy. I’ll probably lose my game now”.
It Is hard for a Roller Derby win when your son is upset, even if you have bought them the Lightning mcqueen (main guy from Disney/Pixar Cars 1, sidekick in Cars 2) bed. Susanne is not the only person, though, to be suffering. Even in the Ivory Tower of IT World there are some bad computer nerds who probably caused this, but even they are Upset ABout Buzz Feed.com missing. We spoke to one before just about this problem that has happened.
“Its fucked and also a shame. iM trying to code and cannot have a laughter about some movie or dog. Such a shame for me, the big computer guy” said Dale Clements, a 39 year old software engineer from Ohio, who’s baseball cap was now stained forever in his own grief-sweat. “I mean I start the day doing the codes, the big computer code. now I cant because im so sad from buzzfeed dot com” said Dale as he was upset and probably going to cry like a fucking baby. “Im sad”
“I woke up the kids today and told them america was under attack” said neighbourhood Mom of 5 Sherry Charlamange, from Oklahoma. “My childs cried” she also told us, when she had gone to see her childs and tell them “buzz feed dot com. it is not working. its. not. working”. The babes and child all did a very large crying session and the mother, Sherry, held their hands and also heads in turn and gave them angel kisses on the tops of their foreheads. “When will america learn that this sort of terrorism cannot be accepted” said Sherry. She was crying very big now.
“Bark Bark” expressed the gruff, chizled 4-year old french Bulldog Charlie to our reporters when Buzz Feed dot com could not be accessed on Dogterweb. “Bark bark bark rrrr ruff ahhhrroooo” he also said in his wonderful way as he sat like a normal human person on the lap of his owner. “brooooo” he croaned, melting the shattered hearts of all those who could not access the great dog and news websirte, buzzfeed dot com.
“This is al the fault of democrat and pig idiot barackk hussein obama. wheres the certificate. of birth, where is it” decried southwest town crier John Smith from Big City, Il. “I didnt vote for him, and now look what happen. When did this kenya get in. Where the certificate. where is it”. We asked him about how he felt now that buzzfeed was gone, as this is a big issue facing out nation. Buzz Feed, websight, it is gone, when come back? “Fucking where is the certificate. i saw one, but it was forged. where the fuck is it god im gonna kill someone, if i dont get the truth. semper fi, brothers” he spat back at us, the reporter guys.
“can’ fucken believe i’” said rough youth and Voice of A Generation, Colin Wozzok, from Sheffield, England. Colin, aka DANDYSMASH, is a local and international superstar DJ rapper musician lad friend who has not been able to access popular internet webby, Buzzfeed. Here is what he said. “oi i can ge on buzzfe from me blackburry. gon nick me an iphone innit gov” he said and spat through his bad teeth and other things. We are sad for him, as is everyone the startling weight of the future without internet webmasters of staff Buzzfeed dot colm is very sad. “i can rite me own rap bout nothin else mate” he replied.
“fuck” said conservative pastor Sarah Slidesbarf, 34, a missionary operating in the war torn country of Ukraine. “This is Bull Shit. how am I. to do the research. Where the pics. Fuck”.
Buzzfeed is down and everyones affected by this, but no answers have been given when the site will return. We asked the owner fo other internet Web Zone Reddit Dot Child to give us an estimation. “Well” said BigLord69, “We dont know. Stop Asking. We dont Know ABout BuzzFeed Webby” said BigLord69.
For now, though, we are but snowflakes on the sea of tomorrow. The sea is turning to acid but the snowflake has since already melted. Our winter is ending.
DJ Nicholas Burns Ph.D
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