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FeedBuzz tribute to retiring Soccer (Football) [Soccer] Legend David BEckon

icon_sportsDavid Beecham, aka King David, aka Bender, aka. Becky becks beckerson, is a soccer legend known mainly for playing for Engerland International, a club from London, and Man Chester United, The Only Team I Ever HEard of Before Writing this piece.

 

HE GETS TO STICK HIS PREMNUS IN THIS CHICK!

She is a spice girl who is super sexy HOWEVER

my favourite [Englishe spelling -ed.] is this one

I <3 u Mel B! (She fucked Eddie Murphy [Klumps])

Davin Becklan started his career at age 14 when Sir Alec “Turd” Ferguson plucked him out of relative obscurity from his life as a chimbley sweep in Essex-upon-Thames-circa-Rutherford b. Hayes, physically hoisting the lad out of a chimbly ‘pon espying a gangly cleat poking out of there.

He whisked young Becko to Mancheshire  whereupon he put him in his first red kit & got him out on the field there with the lads kickin the ball around for a little heyo. Everybody thought he was absolute crap and was worthless and even his mom said “Youll never shag a spice girl you ickle squib” boy was she wrong

Young BEckwith celebrating a nil-nil draw

But beckhans worked his little tucches off to prove wrong all the haters. It is around this time he starte dscoring gaols and being proud of his crooked penis, raising awareness about penis crookedness so that they even made a movie aout of it

About now he met his wife Vicky Spice, and she had a curvy vaginae, so they were conpatible and began having kids together. He won the World cup, the olympics, the league and all that jazz adn everyone was happy.

Everyone EXCEPT sir Alec “Turd” Fergusson

who hated how beautiful Davith & his family was and banished him to italy, spain, and ameira. He finished his career in PAris, bending the eiffel tower with powerful kicks til it was crooked like his weird dick


leducviolet

Le Duc Violet is an effete French fop from Flanders. He loves rods, sceptres, staves, staffs, poles, pikes, halberds, guisarmes, flyswatters, piccolos, garden hoses, smooth-barked trees, & penises. He writes for Forbes, Maxim. (Maxim Forbes is the name of his diary.) He is obsessed with poop but only because it looks like a weenus.