Five Ways The Present Is Not As Bad-Ass As We Thought It Would Be When We Thought It Would Be The Future

Think back to when you were young, and a cartoon came on TV, and you got to see the protagonists going to the future. Lots of technology (flying cars and jetpacks), greater multiculturalism, maybe even contact with E.T.s. Maybe we can marry horses. Maybe everyone lives longer. It seemed like the life! But, surprise surprise, those cartoons themselves didn’t even make it into the future, which is the unofficial #6 in this list: a lack of the good toons that made growing up so great in the decade we grew up in.

Here’s the rest of the future’s fails.

5. No jetpacks!

Remember thinking about how cool it would be to have a jetpack? I still think about it. I love to kick back and imagine the possibilities of such free movement. Remember fantasizing about how easy it would make it to go to work? Haha, no more boring commutes for me! You losers in your cars down there can eat my dust… except I’m not kicking any dust up! Then I’ll be at work on time and unstressed from another cool flight. Come on, scientists! I can’t keep driving my Olds forever!

4. Still wars!

Hey, can I get a WTF! here? So it seems a bunch of boneheads really screwed the pooch because last time I checked–newsflash–we got war. A far cry from the idealistic vision we had of peace, or at least peaceful resolutions. Someone needs to invent a successful universal language, not so we can communicate better, but so I can say “ya blew it” in something everyone understands! And get this: it’s not just one war going on. All sorts of folks are up in arms about all sorts of baloney. I mean come on–ever heard a little Frankie Goes? Get onto You Tube and look them up, you might learn something.

3. More Kardashians

haha 🙂 just for laughs. but some seriousness

2. 3D… but at what cost?

If I come off a little steamed in this blog post… it’s cos I am! Avatar was a good romp and all but Come On James Cam’. Those glasses they want us to wear–er, did everyone forget that glasses are nerd apparel? AND we have to pay for our third dimension… hello, how can we even afford it after those ridiculous candy bar prices? I’m a Joe Sixpack, not a Joe Sixtybucks! But seriously folks.

1. There’s still famine and drought

I’m so hungry

Thanks for reading. The end or Is It.


crud idiot online the web at http://twitter.com/Ulillillysses