I am 27 years old. Some people would choose to mock me if they learned that, at this point in my life, I had never had one sexual experience with another human being. Unfortunately for those people, that isn’t the case, because I definitely have had one of those. In fact, I’ve had more than one. That’s what this article is all about: the fact that I have had sex.
1. I have had sex. I won’t say with who or what. It was not illegal. That’s not even the point of this article. It was definitely not illegal sex. You should not even think about the legality of it because I’m only mentioning it because of how I’m not talking about the details, so you might get suspicious if I didn’t assure you otherwise. Trust me: there’s no need to get suspicious, because I have done nothing illegal, sex-wise. That is a fact.
2. Anyway, I definitely had sex, with a person, fully within the boundaries of the law. That means it was consensual and everything. Yeah, I had that all right. Yeah! Yeah, I had sex! I had sex with a woman. I had sex with a woman and it was great, and not a big deal, to me. It was just a natural thing that happened during the normal course of my life.
3. You know what, I had sex with a guy, too. I’m a guy, so last I heard, this is less common, but yeah, I did it anyway. Sex is not like a big thing in my mind, to me, so whatever. I had sex with a girl, and a guy. There’s no reason I’m listing them in that particular order. I’m not making a value judgment. There’s nothing wrong with either of those things, especially when it’s legal, which all the sex I had definitely was.
4. It’s cool that I was born wherever and I had no free will and I turned this little shit that I am, instead of being born elsewhere, having no free will, and turning into this guy in a wheelchair on the train who’s slumped over asleep and smells bad. As a result of this fact, I have had good sex in my life with a willing partner, multiple times.
5. I had sex. Honest. Why would I lie about that? No reason, right? So that’s that. Thanks for reading this article about how I had sex.