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Restaurant In Strip Mall Opens to Zero Fanfare

promo_VitosItalianRestaurant1A crowd gathered at the Covington Square Shopping Complex on Tuesday outside of the newly opened Vito’s Italian Restaurant, home of “Endless Meatball Monday” and “5 lb Calzone Challenge”, eagerly awaiting the doors to open at 10:30 for it’s first lunch hour on the east side of town.

“It’s a moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life,” spoke Andre Vitolli with a hopeful glint in his eye as he slowly unlocks the bolt separating him from the buzzing crowd. Vitolli, Vito to his friends, had discovered his love for cooking at an early age while making condolence casseroles for grieving families in his congregation.

“I saw what food can do, you know? How it brings people together, so I made this my dream,” beams Vito while nervously shuffling the menus that contain generations of Sicilian family recipes with a few fun twists he added himself. After adding a second mortgage on his house, a car title, and paltry earnings from class action lawsuit with Milton Bradley, he says it’ll all be worth it today.

The first customer enters, a shoe salesman who’s store shares a wall with the restaurant, and stumbles into the dimly lit lobby and asks for the bathroom. Over the speakers Frank Sinatra croons about a blue moon amid the shuffle of shoes down below making a beeline for the restroom and back to their respective shops on the strip.

(Update) Sources indicate that a pipe burst earlier this morning at Fantasy Nails affecting some surrounding businesses and has since been fixed.


I live in the Alabama.

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