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Top 5 Bad Bug Fixes for the Muffworld 2.0 EMMORPG

The MuffWorld franchise has long been a stable of erotic massively multiplayer online games. As it enters it’s fifth year in development, erotic online pioneer CarnalDoug was recently released from a terrible Jail. Recently, he unrolled a series of bug fixes online that have polarized the community.

1. Gunt Strength doesn’t factor into Criticals on BBM anymore.

We all knew the big beautiful male was broken. They would saunter into any group sex scenario and immediately contribute either massive pheromone procs that would drive the crowd uncontrollably raunchy or lay some serious pipe relying on their mass factor. But all of this was built around gunt strength. The critical, core stat sought by BBM’s is now almost entirely useless, and without critical effects the big risk, large and in charge personality of the BBM has been neutered to the point where I am personally embarrassed to log in to MuffWorld 2.0 in favor of the more balanced vanilla MuffWorld.

2. The Nerf in Sexual Fluidity Reminds Me of The Oppression of Values Already Present in Reality

If I hear another so-called ‘sexually liberated’ player complain about this again I am going to scream. Why shouldn’t a player be able to respec from Bad Daddy to Hole Hound in the period of fifteen minutes? My own sexuality can ebb and flow like the tide, or even wither or build to levels impossible to contain (or even grasp). They claim this wasn’t a gameplay decision and a longstanding bug fix, but I believe you will find that CarnalDoug Studios is merely saving face here by being so judgmental.

3. Raw Materials for Deodorant Crafting No Longer Unpurchasable

The introduction of Deodorant as a craft-able item in the canon means the community/raids involving stinkplay will now be further shamed by rude fuck men. Pheromone levels plummet globally as pristine dandies saunter across the landscape using rude words to those looking for a truly randy experience.

4. Tenth Inventory Slot Unlocked

Previously, players had to actually consider what they wanted to bring along to group up sexually or participate in erotic world events. Now, no thought will be placed into dildo selection or weigh the value of selecting how many mason jars will be required to contain whatever (or how much) body emission casually ejected from the human body. I believe when more items are introduced, this will have a negative effect as players demand more unnecessary inventory space. This is exactly like the novel ‘The Gods Themselves’, by writer and atheist Isaac Asimov, in which society clings to the Electron Pump  and refuses to give it up, despite both not needing its energy to begin with as well as it being dangerous.

5. The Revamped Introduction of Erotic Asexuality is just Confusing

Hey, CarnalDoug of CarnalDoug Studios, read a fucking book much??? Not how it works.