To my grandma–the only member of the elderly community who can stand to talk to me through my mountains of brightly dyed hair, skin, and teeth–frequently scolds me for using too much of her wifi because I might use it all up don’t I know how important it is for her to be able to watch Meerkat Manor reruns on Animal Planet every night?
I think this one results mostly from how useful google is, because I’m always saying I’m going to go “google that” when I discuss things like movie times and porn reviews so my grandma assumes she can “google” all those other things, such as her own e-mail, the times of her medical appointments, and my birthday.
3. Lady Gaga
This one doesn’t make much sense to me either but man oh man my grandma assumes that all music made after 1967 came from the same mouthwhistle and that mouthwhistle belongs to the lady g-g.
This is more of an object than a word and yet my grandma misuses them as shoes very regularly, almost three or four times per day.
1. Money Shot
plz find and replace with anything else, grandma. Anything. But if you want to be specific, how about just “that was a really good shot” when talking about photography or basketball or collecting new hunting trophies for our room.